Social Butterfly-ness

Hadeda ibis
The Daily Prompt: Tell us about a talent you’d love to have… but don’t.


Is being social a talent? I think so. I know many people who are very good at being social. They’re flouncing about with all the “How are you’s?” and “how do you do’s” yet never listening or caring about the answer, but still they are revered. I also know people who can turn this particular talent on and off at random. It’s all about knowing how to charm and be charming. There are those who are sincere in their friendliness and then there are those who are rather false; I’m afraid to say. That type of falsehood causes me to feel rather nauseous.

Anyway, back to the point. I am a supreme loner. In fact I think I could be crowned the queen of loner-ship. The only problem with being such a loner is that now and then I crave friendship. The friendship that is sincere and warm, but I will never get that if I continue living in my sorry loner state.

There is a problem though, and that problem is that I lack the “Social butterfly” talent. Sometimes I wish I had that talent and that I could turn it on at random…and then other times, most times, I just don’t wish that at all.

My survival guide as an introvert.

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The prompt for this week’s writing challenge is to take a walk and write about what you see in your neighbourhood. It was the part of the prompt in inverted commas below which prompted me to write the following post:

“Look in a different direction. If you normally keep your eyes down when you walk, look up. If you normally scan the treetops, look down. Make a conscious effort to direct your gaze in a different direction: up, down, left, or right.”  

Even though I am an admirer of scenery and love photographing all the flowers around my area, I am also an avid people watcher…
My area seems to have many walkers, mainly people walking their dogs. My reason for going walking most of the time is to clear my mind, so when I pass these people I often just look down and keep walking.
This behaviour will be familiar to those who are really introverted. When I was younger I was often described as being shy, but the word “shy” is not a proper definition of an introverted person. The problem is though that it is not a good thing to indulge oneself into one’s own introverted-ness all the time.
Sometimes we have to conform to the “norm” (not that being an introvert is not normal) I hasten to add. There are times and places where it is best to follow a few rules. One of the areas that I follow a few of my own simple set of rules is at school when I drop the kids off. I usually take my little daughter in and find myself having to interact with other parents and teachers.
Here are a few of my own personal guidelines which I follow so as not to ostracise myself completely from others.
Instead of looking down when passing a person, rather look at them, just for a second and say “good day.” I have developed a certain tone which I use on the “good” part of the “good day.” Just a slight lift in the voice sounds a little warmer, almost as though you may even be pleased to see that particular person on that morning. On the more humorous side of this, mainly for women, don’t make that eye contact too long, especially with men, because more often than not they will sometimes think that you “want” them, right? It would probably be appropriate to add a “lol” right here.
When sitting with a group of people chatting, never add a more informed view of the current subject (if you have one that is) under discussion, especially if there is a person dominating the discussion, and who seeks undivided attention. You know the type, loud and overbearing. It is ok to voice your opinion about a subject when the conversation has a good give and take flow to it otherwise; it is just simply a waste of time. I find those with the loudest mouths have blocked ears.
It is a total waste of time trying to have a conversation with a person who thinks they know everything. In situations like this, it is advisable to nod, smile and detach emotions.
Body language is key. I usually fold my arms and cross one leg over the other, usually facing in the opposite position of the person I’m supposed to be conversing with. This is wrong of course. Try your best to unfold your arms and assume a relaxed position. Once again eye contact is important again, however brief. It is better to make a little eye contact even if you don’t want to, rather than looking the other way or not looking at the other person at all.
Finally, laugh or smile at things that are supposed to be funny, even of you think they are not.
These are only a few of my guidelines for myself. I know that there are many of you thinking that it is best to be yourself and forget the rules, but for me, most of the time and for most of my life I have always just been myself, but I have found in hindsight that there are times and places that I need to just try to fit in and blend smoothly rather than to go against the flow. Patronising? Yes, I know, but all part of my survival in my introverted world.
This post is a little tongue in cheek and also a smidgen not…