Day 5: Five photos, five stories. The darkness.

Steps BW-pI must admit that when I took on his challenge I did not realise I would be posting so sporadically.  I thought I was better, better enough to post a few posts.

You see, this used to be my place to pour my heart out.  It worked in many ways for me.  Writing here was often a release of bottled up stuff which my fellow humans don’t always understand.  The difference with the blog is if you don’t want to read what has been written, you have the option to just exit and leave.  I would not have a problem with that.

In life though, with fellow humans, they don’t want to hear it, unless of course they’re a shrink who’s getting paid a fortune for me to go and sit there and spill my guts and tears.  He will then whip out his little white pad and start writing out a prescription for me.  All sorts of medications which I should take and then “we’ll” see how I am and it they work.

I battle this depression everyday.  I try to be brave and I put on a brave face. I hide it as much as I can.  It’s tough doing that.  What’s even tougher is when someone who knows my life story will say that the diagnosed depression by a professional is just for “getting attention.”   Oh my word!, if I wanted to get attention I can, in many, many different ways.  Depression would certainly not be my tool to do that.

I’m very sad, my mind is dark…I feel empty, hopeless, closed in…

Thank you for listening.

The photo, it goes hand in hand with my mood.