Daily Prompt: Helpless

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Daily PromptHelplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one

 at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?

♥♦♥

I have never hidden the fact that I suffer from Recurrent Major Depression.  At first I was embarrassed about it, but not anymore. There is a stigma attached, but that does not bother me the way it used to.

I go through waves of being “normal” and then I will go into a very dark and scary dip.  It’s as though my brain turns into a very bouncy rubber ball which bounces incessantly on the walls of a very dark room.  It will bounce here and there, never stopping in a sort of slow motion, and I do not know which way it will bounce next.  That is my helpless time, my hopeless time.  My time that I know I have to reach out.  Those are the times that I write the darkness here on my blog.  Some people don’t like it, but it’s the only way I know to help myself out of my helplessness.

Surprisingly, I am strong person when not in the dark room.  I can take the bull by the horns and sort life out …it’s just those bouncy, helpless, hopeless moments that scare me the most.

Today I am fine though…

*hugs*