Blog, Writing, Mind, Path.

Lily-pThere was a time when I couldn’t stop writing and blogging.  My mind was constantly thinking about writing this and writing that, but then I’d end up writing about something completely different to what I intended writing.

My blog was mostly a sounding board and my psychologist.  That works well when the readers express their views.  I found I had a the opportunity to see things from many different angles because of the different opinions.  I appreciated that very much.  I also appreciated that people actually took the time to read what I had written. I have deleted most of the really heavy posts.

Most of my blog friends will know that I had spoken a lot about abuse and the after effects.  I think I have conquered some of those effects but the serious ones still linger.  The effects I have not spoken about and can’t really speak about now is how ones childhood abuse affects ones choices as an adult.  That typically one just simply moves into another abusive state or situation.

I still write, but I have been advised to write the thing out and burn it.  I have to make sure I watch it burn.  I have a different type of therapist now, her techniques seem to be working well with me.  My deep depressive states that I go into are still there but I’m finding it easier to pull out of them now.

I am now in the middle, I’m not happy, I’m not sad, but I can drop to extremely depressed in a matter of seconds.  This is not a good thing, but I have to pull myself through these times.  Some dark spells last very long and others stay a little while…then my head clears again.

I don’t really know what the point is if writing this, other than feeling very closed in.  I think writing somehow clears a small path to get outside of ones head.  I think it’s time to start writing again to clear a path…

 

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38 thoughts on “Blog, Writing, Mind, Path.

  1. Thank you for your update. I’m happy that you are working with someone who appears to be helping. May you soon experience greater peace and truer love. May abuse become solely a thing of your ever-receding past, and pain become a pathway to purpose.

  2. I love the CS Lewis quote. I think it is important to realise that one is not alone.

    It was lovely to see your comment on my blog, Hope. (btw I’m not sure what to call you now – force of habit!) Thank you for visiting my blog. I must say I like calling you Hope (for the future)! I will keep in touch and keep you in my prayers. Much love, Denise xxx

  3. I know exactly where you are coming from Michelle. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and depression and am finally having the therapy I needed 40 years ago. It really does affect your decision making as an adult. I just locked everything away and it does poison your mind. Now I finally feel alive and ready to take on the world. Photography was my way of coping. I have had some comments about how dark my photos can be. And they are. But in the midst of that darkness is always some light. Hope that helps you Michelle.

  4. I used to find that keeping a daily journal that was private, (for my eyes ONLY) was beyond therapeutic. I no longer keep one, but when I did, it was incredible. Often, what I thought was horrible then, a few months later when I looked back at it, I would laugh.

    Another great thing to help with depression is to volunteer. If you are fond of the elderly you could volunteer at a Memory Unit at a Nursing Home, or something with children or animals. When I do things like that, it gets me OUT of my own head and has me think about others.

    catchatwithcarenandcody

  5. Hey, you’re back!
    I never really know what to say to ”heavy” posts, but seeing the new post in my reader made me smile.
    If writing helps but just a teeny bit, then write away, dear M. Write way …. 🙂

  6. Writing is very cathartic. It has pulled me through some very bad times. Writing things down can often remove the burden of carrying those things around with you. Wishing you the best in your endeavors and sending hugs.

  7. I too often have things swirling around in my head to blog about but it’s hard sometimes knowing what to put out there and what to keep to myself. I think that’s the single hardest thing about blogging. I am glad your new therapist and her techniques are working for you Michelle. I will hope and pray for your continued healing. Glad you will be writing again!

  8. It’s so good to read your post. Like you and a lot more people than I thought suffer with this depression monster. Writing does help, but I am always fearful anyone who reads my blabberings will just think ‘there she goes again’ or ‘get over it’. I don’t want to wallow in depression or the anxiety it is married to. Hugs to you!

  9. i can so very very much relate to so very much of this post-it.thanQ frum Q here fer bein U ..has helped me through many a dull eve at 3 am u have believe it er not..da pet challenges an .activities because of ur werld…Take care frum Colorado!

Namaste. My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

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