It’s the way they say it.


I recently heard about an acquaintance who had died.  I did not know this man very well at all and only knew about this because of the business circle  and so word got around.  I was sad for the family and friends of this young man.  Later one of his associates mentioned that he had died from depression.

“I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top.” ―           John Keats

Now, being a person who suffers from “Recurrent Major Depression” I am aware of the stigma attached to depression. Those who don’t understand depression or have never had a depressive episode often just don’t get it. They are the ones who will tell others to “snap out of it.”

Depression is often not seen as an illness. People would rather say that a person committed suicide than say that a person died of depression. When people die of other illnesses, their deaths aren’t described in detail; just the name of their illness will be used yet not so with depression; there will always be the description.

“I thought the most beautiful thing in the world must be shadow, the million moving shapes and cul-de-sacs of shadow. There was shadow in bureau drawers and closets and suitcases, and shadow under houses and trees and stones, and shadow at the back of people’s eyes and smiles, and shadow, miles and miles and miles of it, on the night side of the earth.”
Sylvia PlathThe Bell Jar  

My point is that depression is a real illness; people do die from it.  It is not a feeling of being just sad or blue; it is a dark, and lonely place, which very few understand or even try to understand.   Please be kind to those who suffer from it.

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This is the reason I started blogging. I found it to be a good way of telling it the way I see and feel it. The thing that makes me very sad, and lately especially, don’t know why, but when I look back and see what a deep dark hole I was in at one particular time, I feel so ashamed. Logically that is silly, isn’t it, because I should look back and think about how I held on with all my might… I should think that way, but I don’t.

I am grateful to have held on and that I was able to use the little courage I had to keep going.

54 thoughts on “It’s the way they say it.

  1. Great post Michelle and you said it so well. Only those of us that know what it can do to you will understand and no, it’s not something you can just ‘snap out of’. You should not feel silly at all, but yes, I know what you mean. I am just glad that you were able to hang on and keep going as well hon. This world would be a sad place without wonderful people like you and knowing someone like you, makes this sometimes sad world more bearable. 😀

    Love the rose. Stunning shot! ♥ Big Hugs ♥

  2. Pingback: It’s the way they say it. | Home Sweet Home WY

  3. You are so right about this… it is a sadly underestimated ailment that many suffer from, and the “Oh get over it” statement seen as the cure, how little people know what it is like to suffer this thing called depression…

  4. I know a lot of people who suffer from depression. It’s all about the hanging on and the moving forward. When you’re going through hell, keep on moving, and you might get out before the devil even knows you’re there. Somebody famous said that (Churchill?), but I know it from a country song. Either way – here you are! Yay, you!

  5. It’s so true that somehow even after years of being free from depression, when it comes to mind there is still the feeling that we lost so much … and the ‘shame’ . Sometimes feeling like we cheated our loved ones by not being totally there during those dark days… Diane

  6. So many people really do understand as is evidence from the comments. I quit blogging last spring because of deep feelings. It was hard returning. I had written 40 poems to express my blue feelings and when I returned to blogging in the fall I posted them starting in September/October Here is one about Snap out of it People tell you to Snap Out of It. Sometimes they don’t know what else to do.
    It really did help to post about my depression. Perhaps you will read a few of the other poems too. Writing about the blues helps release them.

  7. This post is so true. Right before I had my nervous breakdowns, I felt like I was in the bottom of a pit and the bottom felt out. I too felt a huge amount of shame. I am terribly sorry for your friend’s loss of their son. That is so very tragic.

  8. Michelle, I can agree with you and Diane. My family lost me for almost ten years, while I tried to scratch my way out of a dark hole where the only light was my faith would keep me safe during these long days.

    It’s odd for me to think that back then I was much stronger than I actually am right now. But, in truth I needed to be, so I would stick around to be a wife, and mother. I’ve learned from the ongoing experience of depression that it is a part of me.

    The reasons were really not as important, because it was just a fact of my life. Yes… many can’t understand what we feel, during those times of the lows… Because when they see us happy, it confuses them I suppose….

    Bless you my dear for having the courage to post here on your blog this topic. Never feel ashamed about this ~ as this is a part of you. We are all made up of many ingredients, and we are all beautiful.

    Your picture by the way for this post here today, is simply stunning…

    Take care ❤ from Laura

    • Thank you so much for understanding, Laura. It is true that there was a period that I was present but also not present. I agonise over those times. It is comforting to know that there are those who do understand. Thank you for sharing of yourself here today, I appreciate it. 💖

  9. Yes, many may not understand depressive illness. Michelle you have explained it well from your own experience. A poignant and profound post. Wishing you better days to enjoy and to fulfil your deepest hopes… ❤ Love and prayers, Iris

  10. The rose is a beauty! I’ve got ‘Great British Gardens’ on in the background and it’s showing some fabulous examples 🙂
    If you could just give yourself a shake or pop a few pills you certainly would! If only it were that simple 🙂 Hugs to you!

  11. You are very courageous, indeed, Michelle. Depression is serious and insidious. You can’t just wish or think you way out of it. The same can be said of panic disorders (like I have). How many times have I heard, “Just relax” or “just take it easy.” It’s never that simple. Something chemical is going on in the brain and you can’t just ignore it.

  12. We all suffer some type of depression in our lives at many different times. It like taking steps each day, sometimes we trip up or fall, or feel alone…maybe we become spiritually bankrupt. Recently I was sad and I could not shake it and wanted to stop writing, and sharing, and it seemed I could not shake it, it lasted for about ten days even though i kept sharing life felt so overwhelming. And one day it did not disappear, it just hid it self away…and I felt refreshed and a little longer until the next bout comes, and one never knows the time because we just cannot prepare for that moment, we can only pray we can move one. Wonderful post Michelle, you always share the genuine you…that is why it has always been easy to love you my sister! God bless!

  13. One last thought, when Jesus was in the garden praying, he was he depressed at that moment, when he asked God to lift sadness from him, and he spoke not my will, but your will be done…as humans it will come sometimes one time or another!

  14. I’ve seen my nearest family dying of depression, dear Hope. It’s a killing disease, I’ve heard that they also call it a long-term-suicide. I think we shall probably need help during our whole lives, but I hold on to the positive voice inside myself that tells me that there will be a day that I have overcome this terrible disease. I guess that makes us heroes one day 😉 Positive Pawkisses 🙂 ❤

  15. Pingback: Past, Present and Future: Learning & Mistakes | Ramisa the Authoress

Namaste. My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

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