Whether people know it or not, the silent treatment is passive-aggressivebehaviour. In my opinion it is in fact quite hostile, and it fits with the character of one who is a bully. Personally, I can handle it from a person who means nothing to me, but when I am getting it from someone who is close, well then I find it a very hard pill to swallow. When a person who has known me for all my life does this, it makes me wonder of the futility of it all. I wonder what the point is? I wonder why?
I don’t think I deserve this punishment. Seriously, if anyone wants to really get under my skin and hurt me, then that is what they should do, they should treat me as if I don’t exist. I reckon I suffer from abandonment issues, and yes it does hamper my process of getting things done. It hangs around me all the time like a gaping wound. I know I’m a fool to let this affect me.
Do you use this sort of punishment on anyone? Have you received this sort of treatment?
I finally figured out grudges are more stressful to me than anyone and it wasn’t worth it.
You are so right about that.
I have ‘abandonment’ issues as well …regarding my father…. but yes this past several months has been so difficult because of my daughter not speaking to us…although recently I have spoken twice to her…but then nothing back.. no call back. It does indeed hurt… Diane
I have both used it and received it! When I used it, it meant ” I don’t need you anymore” and when I received it I took it to mean the same and lived with it. Hurtful? Yes, but I got over it.
My wife despises the silent treatment thing. Her son’s father (my stepson Alex whom lives with us) pulled this on her regularly and was one part of the demise of the marriage. It is indeed a bully thing and is very damaging. Nice photo, it describes how I feel lately…
Couldn’t agree more. It is one of the worst means of bullying. Why people cannot simply come out and say what is bothering them is simply beyond me. The silent treatment just leaves the other completely confused. I am sorry you are having to go through this.
We all can imagine how walking on eggs might feel. You must be ever so careful not to damage or crack them. A lot of work.
I agree the silent treatment is a powerful punishment. I’ve had a taste myself but will never again put up with it.
Hang in there. Think positive thoughts. Do not allow anyone to use you this way.
Hello, I found your post on the Blog of the Year Award Facebook page. I just had to come over and read this post as I was married to man whose silent treatment towards me went on for most of our 22 years of marriage. It would be for a few hours at first, then as the years went by for a few days and by the time things were really bad in the last years of our marriage it would go on for a week or so. This passive-aggressive behaviour is soul destroying and I called it emotional bullying. Thank God I got out of it and am now happily married to a man who doesn’t know the meaning of it. The only thing I regret is that my three children had to witness their father’s abysmal behaviour at times like these. Still, this was a long time ago but I just wanted to share and also to end on a happy note that time heals my life is now very different to those dark days. Thank you for this post. Sherri
I am so pleased that time healed and that things are different for you now Sherri. Thank you so much for the visit and for sharing your experience, I appreciate it.
*Hugs*
As you say, it is so painful when someone you care about cuts you off – it feels so scary and lonely. I have been known to take a time out to collect my thoughts (I get overloaded quickly and then can’t function in any disagreement) but always with both of us knowing when we would talk again. Take good care.
I think sometimes the one giving the silent treatment does not want to face any unpleasantness themselves usually via The Truth so they would rather it be inflicted on someone else. It sucks to be that someone else. I’ve been there.
You seem like such a good person. I hope this all works out. {{{Hugs}]} ~Nancy
Hugs, great post. And, thank you for “Liking” the post “Where Spirits Flow”. Musicians Of Our World. on my photography blog http://www.throughharoldslens.com. On behalf of the Through Harold’s Lens Creative Team, my trusty sidekick Mr. SLR Nikon, his brother Mr. Pen Pal and myself, we truly appreciate your enjoyment. We hope you continue to join us on our journeys.
I think it’s childish and if people want to treat you that way, you should treat them like the ‘child’ they are. Make them feel bad about their childish behaviour. Sometimes they do have that attitude because they feel guilty or ashamed about something. It’s really silly and whoever is treating you like that should be ashamed Michelle and doesn’t deserve you. 😀 *big hugs*
Well, it’s all up to you hon. You can either accept it or do something about it. 😀 *hugs*
🙂
I am getting this treatment, right now, from a family member. It hurts, but I know there is something I am supposed to learn from this! Not just “don’t do it,” but “it’s gonna be okay, little rabbit…”
Life is too short for the silent treatment. I would never want to be the person to freeze out a friend or family member and lose my chance to make it right again. That regret lasts forever. I know people who do this, but I found out the hard way that life is short, so I would never….
I don’t ever do this to anyone! If I have an issue with someone I want to talk it out. I have had it done to me and I hate it. I’m sorry this is happening to you it really isn’t fair. *big hug*
Two people in my life have done this to me lately and it is horrible. I would much rather have an argument than wonder what the hell I have done to deserve their silence.
I have been on the receiving end of serious silent treatment many times in my life and have always found it very unsettling and difficult to deal with because when the person who has been giving the silent treatment eventually decides to talk to you again there is usually no explanation offered for their behaviour. On the other hand I sometimes retreat into my self when I am upset about something and I know from past experience that raising the matter will not resolve it, that’s when I just take time out and read/watch tv. I will still communicate politely but refrain from extended conversations. It’s either that or risk a huge confrontation where hurtful things may be said.
I agree with you about the silent treatment, it is bullying. It is hurtful. It is not what I do but I have unfortunately been the recipient many times. I used to be truly hurt by it, to the core. But now, I simple speak up and ask why I’m receiving the silent treatment. It gives my heart great anxiety to ask, but I cannot handle the anxiety of silence either.
Sorry you’re feeling low because of this, Hopestar. I know it’s not easy, but just remember that the success of the hurtful actions of others, depends entirely upon you and how you react to their negative behaviour. Hugs xx
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Hope* the happy hugger 
I used to be a huge grudge holder so I am probably very guilty of it in the past. Now not so much.
I am sorry you are going through this right now.
Good that it’s not so much anymore. Thanks, so much, I’ll be ok.
*Hugs*
I finally figured out grudges are more stressful to me than anyone and it wasn’t worth it.
You are so right about that.
I have ‘abandonment’ issues as well …regarding my father…. but yes this past several months has been so difficult because of my daughter not speaking to us…although recently I have spoken twice to her…but then nothing back.. no call back. It does indeed hurt… Diane
It really does, sorry about your situation Diane.
*Big hug*
I have both used it and received it! When I used it, it meant ” I don’t need you anymore” and when I received it I took it to mean the same and lived with it. Hurtful? Yes, but I got over it.
It is hurtful, but like you, I will get over it too as I have before. Thanks Pussycat.
*Hugs*
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My wife despises the silent treatment thing. Her son’s father (my stepson Alex whom lives with us) pulled this on her regularly and was one part of the demise of the marriage. It is indeed a bully thing and is very damaging. Nice photo, it describes how I feel lately…
It can be very damaging, sorry your wife had to go through that. Thanks about the photo, it does work for how I feel right now.
*Hugs*
Not done it and not received it… and if someone did it to me, I’d smack them on the head with a frying pan just to make sure they were alive….
I know the feeling.
*Hugs*
Couldn’t agree more. It is one of the worst means of bullying. Why people cannot simply come out and say what is bothering them is simply beyond me. The silent treatment just leaves the other completely confused. I am sorry you are having to go through this.
Thanks so much. I can handle it I think. It just surprises me since there is no point.
*Hugs*
We all can imagine how walking on eggs might feel. You must be ever so careful not to damage or crack them. A lot of work.
I agree the silent treatment is a powerful punishment. I’ve had a taste myself but will never again put up with it.
Hang in there. Think positive thoughts. Do not allow anyone to use you this way.
I am being strong, thank you Tess.
*Hugs*
😀
Hello, I found your post on the Blog of the Year Award Facebook page. I just had to come over and read this post as I was married to man whose silent treatment towards me went on for most of our 22 years of marriage. It would be for a few hours at first, then as the years went by for a few days and by the time things were really bad in the last years of our marriage it would go on for a week or so. This passive-aggressive behaviour is soul destroying and I called it emotional bullying. Thank God I got out of it and am now happily married to a man who doesn’t know the meaning of it. The only thing I regret is that my three children had to witness their father’s abysmal behaviour at times like these. Still, this was a long time ago but I just wanted to share and also to end on a happy note that time heals my life is now very different to those dark days. Thank you for this post. Sherri
I am so pleased that time healed and that things are different for you now Sherri. Thank you so much for the visit and for sharing your experience, I appreciate it.
*Hugs*
As you say, it is so painful when someone you care about cuts you off – it feels so scary and lonely. I have been known to take a time out to collect my thoughts (I get overloaded quickly and then can’t function in any disagreement) but always with both of us knowing when we would talk again. Take good care.
Thank you onebreath.
*Hugs*
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I think sometimes the one giving the silent treatment does not want to face any unpleasantness themselves usually via The Truth so they would rather it be inflicted on someone else. It sucks to be that someone else. I’ve been there.
You seem like such a good person. I hope this all works out. {{{Hugs}]} ~Nancy
Thank you so much Strawberry.
*Hugs*
Hugs, great post. And, thank you for “Liking” the post “Where Spirits Flow”. Musicians Of Our World. on my photography blog http://www.throughharoldslens.com. On behalf of the Through Harold’s Lens Creative Team, my trusty sidekick Mr. SLR Nikon, his brother Mr. Pen Pal and myself, we truly appreciate your enjoyment. We hope you continue to join us on our journeys.
Best Regards,
Harold
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I think it’s childish and if people want to treat you that way, you should treat them like the ‘child’ they are. Make them feel bad about their childish behaviour. Sometimes they do have that attitude because they feel guilty or ashamed about something. It’s really silly and whoever is treating you like that should be ashamed Michelle and doesn’t deserve you. 😀 *big hugs*
Thank you Sonel, I am really getting a bit P’d off with being treated that way.
*Big hugs*
Well, it’s all up to you hon. You can either accept it or do something about it. 😀 *hugs*
🙂
I am getting this treatment, right now, from a family member. It hurts, but I know there is something I am supposed to learn from this! Not just “don’t do it,” but “it’s gonna be okay, little rabbit…”
I’m sorry you are also getting this treatment, hope everything clears up soon.
*Hugs*
Life is too short for the silent treatment. I would never want to be the person to freeze out a friend or family member and lose my chance to make it right again. That regret lasts forever. I know people who do this, but I found out the hard way that life is short, so I would never….
You are right Genevieve, life is far too short.
*Hugs*
I don’t ever do this to anyone! If I have an issue with someone I want to talk it out. I have had it done to me and I hate it. I’m sorry this is happening to you it really isn’t fair. *big hug*
You have the right attitude Jackie, if only everyone could be like that.
*Hugs*
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Two people in my life have done this to me lately and it is horrible. I would much rather have an argument than wonder what the hell I have done to deserve their silence.
Same here, only in this instance I know what the problem is but the problem does not warrant the silent treatment 😦
*Hugs*
Do you want me to bop them?
Sometimes I do 🙂
*Hugs*
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I could never enact the silent treatment as I like to converse too much! Hugs to you today 🙂
It is better to be your way, Tandy 🙂
*Hugs*
I have been on the receiving end of serious silent treatment many times in my life and have always found it very unsettling and difficult to deal with because when the person who has been giving the silent treatment eventually decides to talk to you again there is usually no explanation offered for their behaviour. On the other hand I sometimes retreat into my self when I am upset about something and I know from past experience that raising the matter will not resolve it, that’s when I just take time out and read/watch tv. I will still communicate politely but refrain from extended conversations. It’s either that or risk a huge confrontation where hurtful things may be said.
I so understand the situation optie. Thanks for sharing.
*Hugs*
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Yes and each time I am treated this way I know it is THEM and not me FINALLY HUGS HONEY
Thank you for the reminder that it is them and for the hugs.
*Hugs*
🙂 anytime
I agree with you about the silent treatment, it is bullying. It is hurtful. It is not what I do but I have unfortunately been the recipient many times. I used to be truly hurt by it, to the core. But now, I simple speak up and ask why I’m receiving the silent treatment. It gives my heart great anxiety to ask, but I cannot handle the anxiety of silence either.
I understand exactly what you mean when you mention about the anxiety to ask. Sorry you have suffered this horrible treatment aswell.
*Hugs*
Sorry you’re feeling low because of this, Hopestar. I know it’s not easy, but just remember that the success of the hurtful actions of others, depends entirely upon you and how you react to their negative behaviour. Hugs xx
You are quite right about that, thanks ad.
*Hugs*
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