Those who know how OCD can get a grip of ones mind will understand this. A psychiatrist once explained to me that the brain goes into a sort of a loop and keeps looping around instead of sparking evenly.
That might not make sense to some, but to me it certainly does make a whole lot of sense. My problem on some days is that not only does my brain seem to go into a loop, but feel as though I have a loop around myself too. As though my mind is spinning irrationally, and my body is also in this sort of a loop bubble, where I am talking and explaining, but no one seems to understand, but also they don’t really care because they think I’m just talking normally. Then the irrationality of it all just gathers in the invisible bubble and pushes back to me again.
I am then drowning in the repetitiveness of my own words. I’m holding out my hand, which no one takes. How can I expect anyone to understand? It is at moments like this, sometimes they are short-lived, but sometimes they are much longer, that I wish, I just wish that someone would tell me to stop thinking, and say that it is all ok. I would like to thrash these loops to pieces. Should I even be posting this… what the heck.