It is not always wanted…


Tell us about a time when you should have helped someone… but didn’t.

I can’t really think of a particular time when I did not help someone when it was needed, but I’d like to say that people don’t always want help.  I remember many, many years ago when I first started working, the dress code was skirts, dresses and pantyhose, no pants except for on Fridays.  All very formal, but that’s how it was.  On one very cold wintry morning, as I was dressing my last pair of stockings/hose suddenly laddered.  I had no option but to walk to work without  my hose but decided that I would quickly pop in at the shop on my way, get a new pair and put them on at work quickly before anyone notices.
So standing on the street corner waiting for the traffic light to change so that I could cross the street, a woman came and asked me if my legs weren’t getting cold.  I said it was fine and that I was going to organise myself in a minute as soon as I get to the office.  She then asked me if she can buy me a pair of stockings because I looked so cold, the more I tried to explain the situation to her the more she insisted, with a very haughty and arrogant attitude.  Of course the other people standing around also heard the conversation.  For me, a young woman at the time found the whole situation very embarrassing.  She meant well, of course, and wanted to help, but refused to listen to my explanation.  I refused the offer of course, but sometimes people want to help because of their own emotional selfishness (if that makes any sense.)
Really though, only give help when help is wanted.  Obviously helping when people cannot help themselves is different.

26 thoughts on “It is not always wanted…

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  3. Sometimes the help you get sticks in your craw – because you need it, but wish you did not!!
    And I think it depends on the attitude that accompanies the giving – I refuse to accept help from some people because I know it will come back later – and I will be beholden to them, and that I’d rather not.

  4. There’s nothing worse than someone insisting on helping someone who doesn’t want it. Of course, it’s not always easy to tell (although in your example you made it abundantly clear!).

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  10. I totally agree Michelle. If someone says no to a person’s offer of help, the other person should let it go. This woman was really ‘pushy’. I would have told her straight off as I don’t like people pressing me into a corner. Great post hon. 😀 *hugs*

  11. Yes, you just never know how your well-intended act of kindness will be taken. I once offered my metro seat to an older woman. She got insulted. But when I was riding the train as a very pregnant woman, the few times people gave up their seats for me (emphasis on “few”), I was quite grateful.

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Namaste. My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

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