flower6The next time you’re in a public place — a coffeehouse, a park, a store — observe the people around you. Pick a person, a couple, or a group, and imagine what their lives might be like.

I am an avid people watcher, as I’ve said before.  Usually when I get to school early, I sit and watch the people while I wait.  There is an elderly couple who come to fetch (who I’m assuming, must be their grandchild) everyday.  I noticed that the man will always get out first, walk around the car and open the door for his wife.  My thoughts ambled on this for a while, thinking about how chivalrous and old fashioned these actions are.  I don’t mind a bit of chivalry at all, in fact there are times when I love it, but I do like opening my own door.  I had wondered if he has been doing this all the years and if she expected him to do it.
I never got a close up look at them, all this was viewed from a distance, but the other day I happened to walk right past them and had a close look at their faces, it was only then that I noticed the deathly pale colour on the elderly lady’s face…everything then fell into place.  It was not about chivalry at all, it was about him taking care of his very frail wife.  I felt so small that my thoughts about them lingered so far from the truth and that my thoughts were so trivial.

34 thoughts on “Assumptions

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  4. My wife and I have had the discussion. You never know where people are at in their life, best to cut them some slack and leave it alone. You are always in the middle – better of than some, worse than others.

  5. Us modern women became too independent I think but I tend to make the same mistake sometimes when I look at people’s faces as I also love to watch them when I sit in the car and wait for hubby. What I do miss is the smiles that were once so apparent on people’s faces. You don’t see that much anymore. Must be this economy of ours and the financial worries. Make me wonder what they think of me when they see me and Simba sitting in the car and I am always hugging him and talking to him like he is a real person. 😆

  6. What a sad and sweet story, all at the same time. I am a people watcher too, though I have to avoid too many stories when I am in the midst of a low place – it become too easy for me to imagine others have what I don’t.

  7. I love watching people too! Don’t be too hard on yourself for what you thought, it was not a bad thought, just an assumption based on what you observed. I can honestly say that I would open a door for you Michelle, not because you can’t but because I would want to show you that I respect you. It is just in my nature I think to treat ladies this way. I know it is old fashioned but certainly I would never mean it with disrespect, I think all people, men and women alike are equal to do all things. Thank you for the thought provoking piece, I have been missing reading and commenting here!!

  8. i would like to think that he has been chivalrous all of his life – the hopeless romantic in me – yet, the cynic thinks otherwise but the optimist wants me to believe otherwise,

  9. My husband does this for me when we go out on dates. 🙂 But most of the time if we are just running errands, I forget to let him. I just get in and out of the car without thinking! I’m sure if I sat there long enough, he’d know what to do. ;-/

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  16. First of all I just want to say that you’re blog is amazing.

    Second, my whole life I’ve always tried to literally see through other peoples eyes, I’ve gotten kind of good at it…disregard the creepy in that statement. Imagining what others are talking about and doing according to what they are doing and their body language is another one of my “hobbies”. I think it’s sad when we assume the worst in people, but I feel like it’s our own way of protecting ourselves. We naturally want to be jealous of seeing people with something or someone that’s “better” than what we have whether it’s realistic or not. So we assume negative things. At least this time the truth was heartwarming and so adorable and at the same time a little sad.

    • You are so right in what you said here, shadyoctopus.
      I am also very interested in body language and facial expressions; there are some fabulous books about on the subject.
      Thanks so much for the visit and the kind words, I really appreciate it.

  17. Oh my dear, that must have been so embarrassing and hurting, Hope 😦
    I love watching people too, sometimes with a smile and sometimes with question marks, but I’ve learnt one thing, never to judge on what I suppose to think that I see. That’s not easy and sometimes I still fall back into my own “bad” thinking, it depends on how I feel too, but since I’m aware of this I can see people with an “honest” mind. Here are some Pawkisses for salve on the wound 🙂

Namaste. My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

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