That tap on the shoulder.

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Forgive me for this low post.  Sometimes it helps to write, as if I have a best friend who is listening…not necessarily saying anything, but just listening.

I felt as though I have been doing so well, depression wise that is, but this past week that dark little shadow has tapped me on my shoulder a few times, just to remind me that it is here I think.  I try to joke around and be merry, but that does not help at all. Each time I get that little tap, which comes in the form of waves, a few little flash backs for no reason and some morbid thoughts.  I’ve pushed these feelings away all the time, thinking I have got it covered and am handling it well, but today suddenly that dark cloud swiped at me with a vengeance…and now my energy has drained, I want to sit and cry a river – for no particular reason really, and the tiredness – I cannot explain the tiredness.  Maybe tomorrow it will be all better again…

Thank you for listening.

*hugs*

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70 thoughts on “That tap on the shoulder.

  1. pressed like,lol cuz there aint a button to jest say yeah i agreee i don’t like the feeling very much a lot either, must be a werld thing in my chain of freinds, some of the rivers are from all our tears way up high here an there lol..take care miss…hugz to ya today,,,mikey!:)

  2. Don’t feel bad for sharing your feelings. We all have our up and downs and I am very familiar with depression. It comes out of the blue sometimes. Often I am feeling down and don’t realize why until I start remembering the date and then I know what is triggering me. A past event often gets triggered by my subconscious. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. 🙂 Hugs to you!

  3. Fits of depression for no reason are far worse than ones with good reason. For the latter, at least one can try and iron out the causes. With no particular causes to do something about, there is nowhere to turn. If only someone could come up with something much better than drugs for sorting it out. Lots of sympathy!

  4. I am sorry you are dealing with this. I’ve been taking medication for this for years, it helps. I feel your pain, it’s the worst kind. Be well my friend. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  5. I’m bipolar but have been kept on an even keel for 20 years with medication. You don’t say whether or not you’ve ever discussed your depression with a doctor, but excessive tiredness and wanting to cry for no reason can be signs of clinical depression. If you are depressed often, PLEASE talk to a medical professional. The meds WORK! I care.
    –John

      • Just remember that depression is your enemy. It wants the worst for you. It would even keep you from blogging if it could, from reaching out. While you might often feel powerless to fight it, never embrace it. It wants to keep you from doing what you were born to do—what only you can do.

        The best thing you can do with your depression is to get angry with it, with how it has tried to limit you. You are FAR, far more than your depression.

        I was once completely crippled by depression for a long time. Now I write humorous photoblog posts that go into the e-mail inboxes of over 400 people every weekday. The world needs what only you can offer. I’m certain of it.

        –John

        P.S. Your comment box has the heading, “Tell it like it is . . .” I just did.

  6. It is so tough to deal with depression and it can feel so isolating and hopeless – I hope you give yourself credit for reaching out here – that’s a sign of strength. And you have no need to apologize for your struggles – you didn’t ask for them and some days you just need to muddle through as best you can and try again tomorrow. Hugs to you.

  7. keep your chin up, sweety, it will pass! just stop and gaze at your children a while, play with them for an hour at least, your full attention, and the joy and love you will feel, will take you out of that sadness. You are very blessed, never forget that, and know I am praying for your Peace to come, for Yeshuah is always there watching over you. Just look up and ask for peace sweety, then just inhale slowly, and know it will come. It will! 🙂

  8. Can i tell you that you are not alone and lately I’ve been having those days too?
    But i always remind myself that I’ve been much worse and more defeated in the past and have only come out stronger. I’m sure you have too.
    So, keep the faith [=

  9. I’m impressed to see so many people offer their support for you. I believe the more you repress your depression, the more it will creep up and destroy your world when you least expect. Instead…..Embrace your ‘darkness’, your ‘depressive’ state. It’s what defines you. It makes you conscious for the desire for a more beautiful world. Your words alone, however dark or low you may perceive them….are amazing. You have so much beauty, I’m awed when I read your lines. Thank you for sharing them with us.

  10. Write, Hugs, write. Fill pages with thoughts and emotions. Scribble them, rhyme them, sing them, say them. And then make a little bonfire. It worked for me. Or maybe it was the wine. I think you should try both… May this day be better for you…

  11. Oh sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. Just hang in there and know you are loved. I hate those dark days too. You know where I am if you need to talk. I will always be here for you but then, just like you I know we don’t feel much for talking when we are ‘there’. Thinking of you. 😀 *big hugs* ♥
    PS: Love the flower shot. It’s stunning! 🙂

  12. I can relate so much to this…. as I have been struggling also.. but with God’s help and great friends like this ‘blogging’ community we will both conquer our somewhat ‘hidden fears’.. Diane

  13. I hope there is someone who is physically near you who understands that you get these taps on your shoulder. In the meantime, imagine that I am giving you the hug that you need.

  14. I’m so sorry you have to go through that feelings again, Hope. I’ve learned one thing: don’t fight it, but feel it, let it flow and concentrate on your breath. I have homeopathic remedies and Bach Remedies to get me through it. Hope you’re feeling better today. Lots of Sunny Pawkisses 🙂

  15. I should send my Zombies round to deal with those waves of depression for you, but seriously whenever the feelings rush over you just know that we, your friends are here to help, to listen and in the case of the Zombies, to thrash those little gremlins until the sweet smile is on your lips returns once more 🙂

    Andro xxx

Namaste. My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

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