Telling the thoughts banging in the head.


Sometimes even the blog doesn’t work.  I have an issue that I’d like your thoughts on, but I find the whole thing difficult to write out.  I used to have a person who I liked conversing with, who was also a sounding board, but that has been “limbo-d” (apparently there is no past tense for limbo) in the sense that I never know where I stand and am always feeling uncertain…  The thing is that this person would actually understand and have something to say, but as I mentioned before the uncertainty chews away at me.  Perhaps it is just me who is generally unsure of myself.

Anyway, on to something else; my eldest daughter has quiet a few friends who are all at the stage of getting cars, drivers licences and either working or going to Uni.  There is one of these friends who seems to be having a hard time though and is doing extra studies to get higher grades. He does not have a car as the others do.  Some of them have really old second-hand cars but, a car is a car, and at this stage of their lives it is what kids drive around in.  This kid rode around on his bicycle, which he really needed and what happens?… A man walked up to him when he stopped and told him to give him his bike.  The kid didn’t have any form of self-defence, and at that stage he said his only defence was to give the guy the bicycle.  Horrible thing to happen to this kid when his bicycle was the only thing her really had 😦


photo credit: bernat… via photopin cc

42 thoughts on “Telling the thoughts banging in the head.

  1. poor lad 😦 as for the other issue…Michelle I have been in your position..go with your gut instinct it will never let you down and don’t end up as I did in between a rock and a hard place because I did not listen to my instinct!. without trust there is nothing my angel. love always Ceri xxx

  2. Shame, it’s really sad about this kid Hope. It’s terrible that there are people out there who think they can just take what they want and they don’t think about the consequences it has for their victims. They only think of themselves and to hell with the rest. I hate it and I feel for this kid. I know the feeling because my oldest son struggled like that when he started working – no money for Uni or a second-hand car even but a good friend loaned him the money to buy a scooter and he pays him off every week and he is so proud of that scooter of his. I do hope that kid finds good people like that too that will help him Hope. If I had the money I would have send it to you to get him something or help him and it’s times like this that I feel so hopeless. There are so many kids out there who are trying to find jobs and most of them don’t even have parents anymore that can help them, even if it’s only a little bit. It’s really sad hon.

    I hope you get things sorted out with your “limbo-d” friend… maybe he/she feels the same uncertainty … I don’t know. It might also be that he/she is in a tight spot as well and don’t want to bother you with their problems. Will we ever know what goes around in other people’s lives or heads? 🙂

    Thinking of you hon. Take care and have a lovely day!
    *big hugs*

  3. Buy the kid a bike. You can get a used one for $20 bucks.
    Sometimes people do the limbo, get down low and wriggle under the limbo bamboo stick, and then some of them fall down and need a helping hand to get up. Give your friend a helping hand, and if he/she refuses your hand, either walk away or use your foot. A kick sometimes works wonders!

    • 🙂 Don’t know if I can do that limbo, Terry 🙂 Thanks for giving me a smile. As for the kid, he comes from a very proud family, I don’t know if they will accept help. I would love to help in some way and will try my best to see what I can organise for him.

  4. If your usual sounding board has no echo, why not try a few drafts for the blog until you are satisfied with it, and see whether anyone more intelligent than mere meerkats can offer sense?
    That bike story makes me so MAD!

  5. Hi Hope,

    I have experienced the same things that you have. I conversed with a friend for three years, then realized that she didn’t know me at all. Now, everything she said appears as a fog of uncertainty. Perhaps, like you, I am generally unsure of myself. Perhaps, things are meant to happen for a reason. People change, relationships change; all we have is the moment.

    Our relationship is now in limbo. We have never met, yet we felt that we had a bond together. We are still on good terms, but the trust has gone. I’ve seen a side of her I hadn’t imagined.

    Concerning the bicycle incident. The same thing happened to my son, who was then twelve years old. A sixteen year old pushed him off his new bike and rode away with it. He had no defence. This incident has remained in my son’s mind for thirty years.

    I hope that everything works out. I think I understand what you are going through, but know of no solutions. Each day brings a different set of circumstances. We learn and move on.

    *big hugs*


    • I’m sorry about the incident with your son and his bicycle, it is very similar to the one I described here. It is not a nice thing to happen to anyone.

      You know Dennis, the person I have this uncertainty with I’ve known all my life and now suddenly it is as if I don’t really know this person at all, and I’m thinking that this cant be so…hence my feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. I am also unsure of the one I used talk to about this sort of thing because also, once again, the uncertainty…

      Thank you for your understanding, I appreciate it.

      *big hugs*

  6. As for your friend, I have few suggestions. “Trust your instinct” would be my normal advice, but at this point it sounds as though you are questioning your instinct. So I suggest that you consider going slow with your friend. Small steps until you can figure out what is going on inside of you and/or with the relationship. You might also want to consider using your online friends as sounding boards–all or some subset of them. If the latter, you could contact them via the email addresses shown to you when they post comments and as if they would be open to being a sounding board to you. You could then send questions/ideas/thoughts to them via their email addresses if they say they are open to helping you in that way.

    As for the boy who lost his bike to a bully, it is a sad thing, and a wonderful opportunity to show him that while there are people who do bad things in the world, there are many more people who do good things. You could take up a collection to raise money for a replacement bike. I would be happy to give send some money to you for it. If you are interested, please email me at His family’s pride may not be an obstacle if they are approached carefully. If his birthday is coming up, the bike could be a birthday gift. If not, you could offer to have him do yard work, run errands, wash your car, etc, so he could earn the money, and you could be generous with the amount of pay he receives for the work–but not so generous that the family’s pride is at risk of being offended. Your actions may help restore any faith in humanity that he may have lost over the incident.


    • Thank you so much for your advice Russ, I am taking very small steps at the moment. Also thank you for your kind offer to help the boy, fortunately it wont be necessary. I am pleased to say that arrangements have been made for him and he will be getting a new bike shortly 🙂

  7. Who is it that is putting you in such a predicament my dear friend. I hope it is not I ?? 😀
    That is really awful and a sign of our times when a young man has his bike taken from him like that. His next bike, make sure his post/zip code is stamped on the frame, it may help in recovery of his bike if it happens again, God forbid. xox

  8. Perhaps the boys friends can organise some sort of braai or coffee cakes thing where everyone pays the price of a a cup of Strabucks …and someobdy provides the cookies or some sort of thing where everyone contributes what they can.and get a second hand bike..and the boy will not have to be obliged to just one person…but know that he has pplenty of friends. What a nice surprise to get a bike from all your mates !!! Many people have a bike sitting in the garage that is not used…so get everyone looking on FB for such a bike..

  9. Though the bike story is sad, it is heartening to read all the support here – I hope he reads your blog!

    I don’t know that you were asking for advice re: your friend or just needing to put it out there. So feel free to disregard this but my first thought would be to look within, not for instinct, but to get in touch with what you are feeling and what is coming up for you. See if you can get in touch with why you are feeling vulnerable. Be well.

  10. We all seem to have that ‘one’ person with whom we can share just about anything … It happened once in particular that comes to mind immediately to me… I felt sure that she knew me well enough to withstand things that were being told to her about me…but I sensed a very withdrawal from her …I tried my best to sort things out but alas things were never the same. While we do have a relationship (distant) of sorts we do not share the same closeness.

    I hope your friendship is renewed or refreshed or if not that you find someone else to fill the void and who you can trust….

    I see where you say the boy is getting a new bike…I hope this restores his faith in humankind …Diane

  11. if it falls through on his new bike I bet of bunch of people here would send some money to you . I would. Please keep us posted.

    As to Limbo…I live it.

  12. I am not sure what all to feel bad about. I feel bad about the boy, though if he got a new bike, it could be argued that he would not have if the other hadn’t been taken…hmm.

    I feel bad for you being in limbo with the friend.

    I want to help; perhaps, that’s the needed statement from me – I want to help.

Namaste. My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

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