I received a text message two days ago informing me of the death of someone I knew from years ago. Getting the news as a text message was OK with me as we were worlds apart, but there was a time when our worlds were closer together. The message brought back a flood of memories of a certain time. This was before the divorces etc. The man who died was the father of my then sister-in-law. The two families, the one I belonged to and my sister in laws family had so many bad vibes between them, and we were forced to take sides, but one day her and I happened to fall into a conversation with each other and subsequently became friends… Sadly, after her divorce, she married again and died in an accident. She was still quite young.
Her family was a good, warm and loving Afrikaans family and the first time I went there I was welcomed with open arms. In all the conversations between everyone on the first weekend I had ever visited there, I noticed the father slip away often to a shed he had at the back. I realised that he was a bit like me, wanting to be far from the crowds. I enquired about what he was doing, and he showed me the most beautiful leather work he was working on in the shed. He was, not surprisingly, a very creative person. In fact, it was he who taught me to do wheel throwing all those years ago.
It was so sad when his daughter died so young and now since receiving the message, I have fallen into pensive thought about him and her, about what lovely people they were, but are no longer with us. I believe they are together now and have said hello again. I don’t know why I’m writing this really, I’m not sad or in mourning.
I think it is so sad that people waste so much time carrying bad feelings for one another. It is such a waste. If these two families could have stepped back and let harmony flow and prevail, but yes I know it is not that easy, it never is, yet it should be.