I’m just talking, only if you have a minute…

I received a text message two days ago informing me of the death of someone I knew from years ago.   Getting the news as a  text message was OK with me as we were worlds apart, but there was a time when our worlds were closer together. The message brought back a flood of memories of a certain time.  This was before the divorces etc.  The man who died was the father of my then sister-in-law.  The two families, the one I belonged to and my sister in laws family had so many bad vibes between them, and we were forced to take sides, but one day her and I happened to fall into a conversation with each other and subsequently became friends…  Sadly, after her divorce, she married again and died in an accident. She was still quite young.

Her family was a good, warm and loving Afrikaans family and the first time I went there I was welcomed with open arms.   In all the conversations between everyone on the first weekend I had ever visited there, I noticed the father slip away often to a shed he had at the back.  I realised that he was a bit like me, wanting to be far from the crowds.  I enquired about what he was doing, and he showed me the most beautiful leather work he was working on in the shed.  He was, not surprisingly, a very creative person.  In fact, it was he who taught me to do wheel throwing all those years ago.

It was so sad when his daughter died so young and now since receiving the message, I have fallen into pensive thought about him and her, about what lovely people they were, but are no longer with us.   I believe they are together now and have said hello again.  I don’t know why I’m writing this really, I’m not sad or in mourning.

I think it is so sad that people waste so much time carrying bad feelings for one another.  It is such a waste.  If these two families could have stepped back and let harmony flow and prevail, but yes I know it is not that easy, it never is, yet it should be.


photo credit: Bert Kaufmann via photopin cc

42 thoughts on “I’m just talking, only if you have a minute…

  1. The death of someone is often the mirror we use to look back. It is good that we do so, for we usually remember the good times and the kindness – and sometimes the opposite. It’s like reading a book you know so well, again – even editing some parts or skipping over the rough bits. And then you realise how much they have contributed to your life – good or bad. Why is this good? Because these memories serve as a compass to your future. They tell you something about what your life should be. You were blessed to have known them. Now honour their lives with yours…

  2. If everything is done, through the eyes of love, there is never room for regret. I believe that these were your thoughts and actions.

    If things are done, or said, from a selfish point of view, seldom will any good come from it. Selflessness, opens us to compassion, empathy and love, yet so few people see things in that context.

    Reading your remarks, I believe everything will work out for you. You have love in your heart.


  3. Death is certain. Life not so much.
    Makes sense to not live in the past with animosity. Not always possible though, but still a good way to try and live.

  4. Yes Hope. If only people would realise that life is so short and that it’s easier and much better to love than hate but some don’t. They just want to carry one like that. Great post and reminder hon. Thanks! *big hugs*

  5. U going back in memories makes myself wish things were different with certain family members. I can change things, I know, but I can’t spare any more room for arguing and grief and sadness, so I let things lay dormant. I am sorry for your loss but can tell you have good memories to ponder on

  6. It is sad that so many people have relationship that are bad especially those in the same family. Who sometimes even knows where things went wrong, but no one takes the time to think about it or to try and resolve the issues that caused it, I think like you found that when a person dies it evokes these memories and while we are necessarily in a ‘mourning’ frame of mind there is a sadness or maybe melancholy….Diane .

  7. Life is too short to hold unforgiveness, and it hurts the ones that hold it most. But the life after now is more important and love gives us good grounds to enjoy it!
    Sorry Michelle, please do take heart!
    Blog Of The Year Award-FB

  8. Sorry for your loss. Just goes to show you that life is short and we have to live every moment as if it is the last. Take care and have a wonderful day.

  9. really nice thoughts up there, very hard for people to forgive in real life tho… hey, what is wheel throwing??? you tossing tires around?? lol 🙂

  10. “Mourning” can take on many forms – some of which are beautiful and thoughtful. Perhaps, you are just remembering how it was and how that was good. That, to me, is a valid type of mourning.
    I am getting to where I think of those things now, as I am here, so that I may not take things so much for granted. My stroke taught me that, though it can be over in a minute and all lost, if you are enjoying life, then that moment will just be another moment.

    • I think you have a point there when you mentioned the different forms of mourning. This must explain the way I feel about it.
      Living every moment is something to remember.

  11. I often think if just one person in a strained relationship would “give” and do something as simple as extending a hand in love or friendship, the whole grudge thing would disappear and peace would prevail. Thanks for this very thought provoking post *hugs*. 🙂

  12. The death of a person would always bring nack a wave of memories. I have even found that people even repent certain things that they have done to them. It was nice to read the thoughts that you just scribbled here. Nice.

Namaste. My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

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