Daily Prompt: Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one
at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?
I have never hidden the fact that I suffer from Recurrent Major Depression. At first I was embarrassed about it, but not anymore. There is a stigma attached, but that does not bother me the way it used to.
I go through waves of being “normal” and then I will go into a very dark and scary dip. It’s as though my brain turns into a very bouncy rubber ball which bounces incessantly on the walls of a very dark room. It will bounce here and there, never stopping in a sort of slow motion, and I do not know which way it will bounce next. That is my helpless time, my hopeless time. My time that I know I have to reach out. Those are the times that I write the darkness here on my blog. Some people don’t like it, but it’s the only way I know to help myself out of my helplessness.
Surprisingly, I am strong person when not in the dark room. I can take the bull by the horns and sort life out …it’s just those bouncy, helpless, hopeless moments that scare me the most.
Today I am fine though…