Confrontation vs open minded conversation…

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I seem to have been shoved into the presence of confrontational people so often. I might possibly have some sort of unseen signal which attracts them. I’ve said before, I don’t like arguments, I don’t like confrontation. Confrontation is a form of aggressive bullying, not giving the one being confronted a chance to say anything edge wise and when a word or two does manage to get squeezed in, its bulldozed into oblivion. In addition to this I totally despise a raised voice and shouting. The whole situation solves nothing, it only feeds the confrontational one with whatever it’s feeing on from this. I don’t know, is it some strange lunatic way of boosting their own ego? Is it they produce too much adrenaline? Are they just simply horrible bullies? What I can’t stand most about it is that it makes me start questioning and doubting myself.

Give me calm open minded logical conversation and I’ll be a purring little pussy cat.



38 thoughts on “Confrontation vs open minded conversation…

  1. Same here Hope. I hate confrontations as well. I always remind myself that I don’t have to react because that is what the person wants.
    Have a wonderful day! *hugs*

  2. When we take the MBTI of Meyrs-Briggs into account, it looks like you -as an Informative type- are actually encountering more Directive types, who insist on having .their way – irrespective of whether that includes the need to confront others or not.

  3. Reckon your internal radar might well be attracting them. What are you putting out in the ether?
    One’s thoughts are quite powerfull, believe it or not.
    Change the thought pattern and see what happens? Maybe it’ll be different.

      • I used to have a ‘friend’ that always wanted to argue the toss about sport and most other things.
        Eventually, instead of disagreeing I would agree and say things like, “You know, you’re right.”
        This would confuse the hell outta him but would shut him up quicker than a clip round the ear’ole!

  4. Many people use confrontation to get their way Esperanza.
    And I do think they know who will be easy prey…
    Since I avoid people and therefore confrontation, I’ve learnt to just keep quiet – they eventually run out of steam and go away.

  5. unfortunatly hope its part of life and to a certain degree you need to be able to stand your own ground otherwise bullies just get their way and bulldoze their way through……..pacifism is fine but pacificm in the way of a hitler is just suicide………….have you ever noticed on the comment on news 24 how confrontational they are………….they all see only black or white view points and fail to recognise all the complexities inbetween……..they blinker themselves and ensure their own ignorance………..such people are clearly not the slightest bit interested in wisdom and truth.

  6. Sometimes one has to confront in order to deal with a situation, especially when it has to do with something very close.

    I don’t like arrogant and aggressive confrontation, but contrary to how I was in the past, I do not mind confronting someone when I need to. I will never be unkind, but I will however stand my ground.

    I have been bullied so much in the past, and I have ran away every time it happened. Now I just stand still and ask the questions.

    Keep well!!

  7. Don’t be bullied or intimidated. I have a fairly constant personality but I react to people around me. The worst are overbearing loud people, arrogant confrontational bullies and false people who stab you in the back. I can turn into a defensive bitch if I feel I am being bullied. It isn’t pretty and it leaves me upset for days but sometimes you have to make the ground rules clear before it goes too far. I never resort to violence but I make the person aware of the fact that they are nothing and not important in my life. Being unimportant is a terrible blow to the self esteem of any bully. I hope my comment helps you handle this person.

  8. Hey… aggressive people will always pick fights. It’s the way they are rigged. I know someone who will explode if someone moves his coffee mug… or if he can’t find something he misplaced himself… those people lack upbringing. You will find it’s the same kind that tries to bully you off the road if you stick to the speed limit and they don’t want to – regardless which lane or situation you are in.

    On the one hand if you allow them to push and bully you, you become their punch-bag. On the other hand, if you get mad, you are the one who is mad. I guess a middle road would be to cultivate a broad, fat, imperturbable “zen” and do your thing and just ignore them; if they get physical, call the cops.

  9. Pingback: Co-exes and how to deal with them « the red ant

  10. Some people are just unhappy within themselves and therefor they tend to always be aggressive. Best is to distance you from them and if you have no choice, stand your ground calmly, but FIRM 🙂

Namaste. My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.

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