The Streets of Sacrifice.

Cosmos

I have always thought of sacrifices as being noble, doing the right thing even if it is hard for us to do. I have made my sacrifices in life. I have tried my best to make the right decisions in the choices with the sacrifices I’ve made.

In hindsight, I’ve learnt that making a sacrifice is not necessarily a good thing if you’ve made the wrong choice and sacrificed incorrectly. Some of our choices will only prove to be the right or wrong choices over time when we can see the outcome of those decisions.

I am naturally hesitant to go into detail about my personal sacrifice, but I will say that I was wrong while trying to do right. My little knowledge acquired recently from the school of life is that it doesn’t mean that a sacrifice is the right thing to do because it is a sacrifice.

We could make the wrong sacrifice, but how are we to know the outcome of our sacrifice without having ridden the wave of it. No matter how noble you think you’re being, it is not always necessarily the right choice.

Sometimes the right thing is not sacrificing at all but rather being proactive without the sacrifice. This, of course, will not apply to all decisions, but it will apply to some.

“Regrets, I’ve had a few” if I could quote from Frank Sinatra’s song, My Way.

I calm my soul with the thought that my the sacrifices I made were made with good intentions and love.

 

Lighting Candles

IMG_2403-privateI’m not too sure where and when I started lighting candles, but I light them often.  I light candles for people I know who are going through difficult times in their lives.  I light them just simply for love of someone, and every now and then I light a candle for myself.

I know in many religions people light candles.  Mine is not so much because of my religion, I don’t even have a religion anymore, I don’t think any religion would want me, lol….It’s just that somehow it gives me comfort, the light in the dark.

I have so many candles that have burnt right down to the bottom.  I have trouble throwing them away when they’ve reached their end.  I have no idea why, possibly because I have burnt them for the reasons I mentioned above.  Today Im lighting my own candle for feeling so broken hearted.  I wonder if it will help.

“But happiness is just an illusion,
Filled with sadness and confusion.”

Sunday Afternoon Nap

HRH Nap

HRH is very tired most of the time.  I love finding him sleeping on my bed, that’s when I steal a few hugs and cuddles.  The purring is an added bonus.  He only allows a teeny bit of cuddles though.   Then I have to leave him alone so that he continue with the very important task of napping on hand.

WPC -Life Imitates Art

Mona Lisa EyesI love eyes as you may have noticed from my header photo of my blog.   I love all eyes,   hence all my eye photos  There is so much to be learnt from looking into another eyes. This Weeks Photo Challenge : Life imitates Art, I thought I’d share a very interesting set of eyes with you.  I took this photo yesterday in fact, so its fresh off the camera…

It needs a caption, if you think of something apt I’d love to hear it.Lemur

Mona Lisa Pic above from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mona_Lisa_detail_eyes.jp

Blog, Writing, Mind, Path.

Lily-pThere was a time when I couldn’t stop writing and blogging.  My mind was constantly thinking about writing this and writing that, but then I’d end up writing about something completely different to what I intended writing.

My blog was mostly a sounding board and my psychologist.  That works well when the readers express their views.  I found I had a the opportunity to see things from many different angles because of the different opinions.  I appreciated that very much.  I also appreciated that people actually took the time to read what I had written. I have deleted most of the really heavy posts.

Most of my blog friends will know that I had spoken a lot about abuse and the after effects.  I think I have conquered some of those effects but the serious ones still linger.  The effects I have not spoken about and can’t really speak about now is how ones childhood abuse affects ones choices as an adult.  That typically one just simply moves into another abusive state or situation.

I still write, but I have been advised to write the thing out and burn it.  I have to make sure I watch it burn.  I have a different type of therapist now, her techniques seem to be working well with me.  My deep depressive states that I go into are still there but I’m finding it easier to pull out of them now.

I am now in the middle, I’m not happy, I’m not sad, but I can drop to extremely depressed in a matter of seconds.  This is not a good thing, but I have to pull myself through these times.  Some dark spells last very long and others stay a little while…then my head clears again.

I don’t really know what the point is if writing this, other than feeling very closed in.  I think writing somehow clears a small path to get outside of ones head.  I think it’s time to start writing again to clear a path…

 

“Church Face”

ChurchB&WThroughout my life, I have been quite trusting to a degree. Sometimes there are those people who we trust straight away. It could be because they remind us of someone else, or they have a way of making one feel at ease. The problem is that very often people are not what they seem to be.

I am probably going to make myself quite unpopular, but please be aware that I don’t paint everyone with the same brush. I know there are genuine Christians who live their lives accordingly. I applaud them for being diligent in their beliefs. Again, let me say that I know very good Christians.  I have a friend who is very near and dear who is a full and sincere Christian.

My big problem is with the “Fake Christian.” Now and then I spot them, but when I start getting irked is when their profile updates or captions about themselves read as “God is good” or “Praise the Lord every day.” When I know that there are irregularities going on in their lives, such as having affairs and not living the lives they profess to be living. Then, come Sunday, they don on their church faces and holier than thou innocent looks.

One might argue that this is the reason they go to church because they are not living as they profess to and that they are there for inspiration. They are trying to live a holier life, but then, why if one is going to be a “God is Good” person and one has for example been having an affair for a very long period, then why has the continuous Sunday church going not changed the personal behaviour. Why parade the slogans of what they are not.

I am not perfect, in fact, I am “very imperfect” in many ways. I don’t have slogans about how I supposedly live my life. I am not a fake Christian. Nowadays I don’t even know if I am good enough actually to class myself into the Christian category. I just try my hardest to do my best. A lot of the time my best is quite bad because I don’t see myself as good.

I get hurt and irked when I am affected by these fake people or when people near and dear to me are affected by these fakes. I’m writing this to get it out of my system because I am finding life, its people and the world extremely hard to deal with.

Now, to find a photo to go with this post…