I came across this one recently and found it quite useful since I seem to struggle a little with forgiveness. I forgive and forget small things very quickly, but there is the one thing I keep struggling with…so, I thought I’d share this.
Home » Uncategorized » Sharing time…the unforgivable
Very well put.
I also think so
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Michelle. I have just spent 24 hours in traumatic talks with a friend I have caught out lying and deceiving me for yrs. My last chat ended 10 mins ago. My face swollen with tears. I reached for my phone and saw this at top of my emails. The timing is uncanny. This post has calmed me. Hugs Ceri xxx
I am so glad it helped and was timely, Ceri. I hope you’re feeling better…
*sending the hugs*
xx
Lovely xo
Thanks
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This is brilliantly put… yes I hold forgiveness back in many cases, till I realise that actually I gain nothing from it… so.. forget I do, but maybe not forgive…
It is very well put, thanks Bulldog.
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I hate to admit this, but there was one time it took me almost five years to forgive someone
But you got to the point of forgiveness, which is good. It has taken me almost a lifetime.
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I must save this.
It really is worth saving
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Yes, I agree . . .
Glad you do
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Powerful. I love the line “eventually forgiveness progresses to the heart.” It shows patience and inevitability which is comforting. Esperanza, can you tag this B4Peace and put a link to this post on the Links frog on this page? This post is perfect for the Monthly Peace Challenge. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo
I will do, thanks Kozo
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Wise words.
Very much so
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Wonderful sentiments for sure!
I think so too
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hope your feeling better to Michelle. xx btw somehow wordpress ‘unfollowed’ a few blogs on my list and I had to re follow so thats why you will get an email telling me I am following you again! lol
ok, no problem
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I think we all struggle with forgiveness at different times in our lives. This little quip that you found is so true.
It really is, thanks Jaz
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Good, solid advice there Esperanza…
I agree, ghiatjie
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Wonderful words! This is what they keep saying at my AA meetings but sometimes it’s easier said than done…
Definitely words to live by, though.
It is easier said than done, that I know, but we just have to keep trying..
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lovely. It is not easy to forgive!
It is not an easy thing to do in some cases, thank you my friend.
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True!
Thanks Scott
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Love this Michelle, I think the person in my life I have had the hardest time forgiving is myself. Thank you for the wonderful thoughts as always. Thank you for being such a good friend.
Thank you too, Jonathan…
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Some things cannot be forgiven. But they can be put aside in order for you to find peace.
Yes, You;re quite right Tandy.
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Forgiveness is mostly for your own soul. You don’t want to have feelings seething inside you and the only way to get rid of them is to forgive the offender and cleanse your own heart by so doing.
You put it so well adee, thank you.
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I have a problem with that concept of forgiveness, even with viewing the transgression as ‘less harmful than it truly was’. That is simply lying to oneself. The bits about not letting an offence take power over one are valid. However, I think the only way true forgiveness comes about is when it is earned. If the other person makes no attempt to offer redress or change behaviour, they why should they be forgiven? Dismissed as unworthy of attention is more appropriate.
You make a good point there Col, and I think that that is what my problem is with the person who I should forgive because that person has never asked for forgiveness or even acknowledged the harm done. This may be my stumbling block. Thank you for your insight, it is much appreciated.
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Sometimes the solution requires more bluntness than we are accustomed to use. ‘I need to tell you that by doing so-and-so you caused such-and-such. Unless there is a really good explanation, or that you realise it was wrong and are genuinely sorry, I don’t see why I should have anything more to do with you.’
I agree. I have cut ties with this person…but the harm still lingers on. He knows what he did but will never admit it or ever apologise…that is how psychopaths operate, I believe.
Right. You have done the right thing. Perhaps in a spirit of true charity, you should now pass on a suggestion that he seek psychiatric help. Then dismiss him completely from your mind.
Excellent post, Hopestar. Hugs
Thank you, ad.
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Have to tell you that although I agree with the letting go part for your own sanity, I agree with Col regarding the offending person offers some remorse or apology with meaning.. or take responsibility for the hurt he/she caused. Hugs Mich xxx
I do agree with him too Dinxie.
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xx
Forgiveness like love or hate has many shades of grey and can mean different things to different people. I believe that forgiveness must first start at home… That being with oelves in what ever form that is. If you spend your time and your valuable energy being angry, resentful and hating someone for something they have done you are in effect also hating and being angry with your self. the question you should ask yourself is why…. The reality of life is you are never going to get that person/s to feel remorseful or make peace. These people are asleep however you can make peace with your self and the situation. You believe it or not do have control over it… Because it is you who decides what you will take fit. And believe me when I say there is always something that we can learn from it or learn about ourselves. I’m sorry if my responce was really long.
Because it is you who decides what you will take *from it. (Apology for typos)
Not to worry about the long reply, I appreciate it. Wise words, thank you.
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This is so true. I recently looked up my first husband online. found an article he had written, it was funny, he was a good writer. I found myself feeling good that he was O.K. after 30 + years. I did not actively try to forgive him over the years, but did not keep alive the pain he caused either. I was glad that I felt good to see that he was O.K. It just happened, the forgiving, naturally, effortlessly.
That is so good…
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Hey I’ve nominated you for Liebster Award! I had been reading your blog for quite a while and I loved it. Thanks for being in my blog and please do come by once again.
http://jensysg21.wordpress.com/2013/03/29/feel-the-glow/
Thank you so much!
Love KiKiBee ^_*
Thank you so much Kiki, I appreciate that.
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