So as you know I joined a walking club mainly for increasing serotonin with exercise, keeping fit and for self therapy in a sense. I decided to enter a small walk/run race because I thought I was capable of doing this. When the race started I noticed that there were mostly runners and no walkers such as myself and I ended up lagging behind badly. I can pace myself well with walking but I am not a runner at all, but as the race progressed I realized that I was going to be stone cold last.
So I started off on a slow jog which went well for a while. I caught up to others quickly and just kept my pace level. After running for what felt like hours, my thoughts became very destructive. I was questioning myself as to why I had even thought I could keep up with other more experienced runners and walkers? Did I think I could actually make it to the end line because I wasn’t actually sure how I was keeping my legs moving? I was soooo thirsty and it was boiling hot, even swallowing felt difficult. I kept telling myself I couldn’t do it. I had a major pain in my left hip, not a stitch, but something I have a problem with. The pain seemed to get worse and worse, but in the distance I saw a table with people giving out water.
I thought if I could just make it to the table and as I approached the people smiled and asked if I wanted coke or water, in my turmoil of thoughts I wondered why anyone would actually opt for coke. I grabbed at the water and drank some of it but running and drinking is rather difficult. Strangely the water seemed to help a little and it gave me courage to carry on. I just jogged along, hearing the sound of my running shoes, thud thudding on the road. Someone came up next to me saying “keep going girl; you know you can do it!” And she passed me; I realized that she must have actually lapped me. Those few words of encouragement really helped. As I neared the finish I looked back to see that I was not last but third last. I couldn’t understand why it would bother me so much to be last, the main thing would be that I finished, was it not? The expressions on the faces of those behind me made me stop and wait for them and we finished together. Why I waited for them, well I don’t know, but I didn’t want them to feel like they ended last on their own. The little group of us who were last just chatted and patted ourselves on the back for finishing. Some may think this was a silly decision to make, but I was being true to myself by waiting for them.
The next morning when I woke up I had my real achy hip, so I just stole an extra hour in bed. It’s amazing what anti-inflammatories can do. Will I do it again? Well I don’t know, maybe with proper preparation I might be able to be a little better.
Wow! on so many levels…. enduring and your generous gesture at the end….. and simply for attempting it!
Thanks Gunta
Ending with the others was more for me than it was for them. Still trying to figure that one out though 
*hugs*
Do you suppose it’s something like the old adage of it being better to give than to receive?
May be so Gunta
I so enjoyed the way you wrote this, Hopestar. Well done to you, and I’m glad you kept going to the end. I think it’s so sweet of you to wait for those behind you to catch up, but it’s just what I might expect you would do. I hope there’s a next time. It sounds very therapeutic, both mentally and physically.
Thanks ad. I’m building up courage for the next one
*hugs*
PS: I forgot to ask if you hugged your fellow runners.
Hugs to you. x
*hugs*
You go girl
Thanks footsy
*Hugs*
Congratulations on finishing and on your sporting spirit. I am sure the others are still talking about that gesture of yours – a real Comrades spirit.
Thanks Newsy…never really thought of it as sporting spirit, but now that you mention it I suppose it is just that
*hugs*
well you finished so alls good…………..last or first is irrelevant.
Quite right gp
*hugs*
No pain no gain. It will get better keep going it’s good for you
It will get better each time, thats what I’m telling myself. Thanks Roly
*hugs*
Well done for finishing! It’ll get better and better with each event you enter.
Thanks so much Pussycat
*hugs*
You finished and that’s walk counts. Congratulations.
True that, thank you David.
*hugs*
You finished, that is ALL that counts!! congratulations!!
Thanks so much Mevrou
*hugs*
Hooray for you! For starting. For finishing. For reaching out to your fellow walkers. Hugs ((()))
Thanks for the hooray
! I’m pleased that I managed to finish 
*hugs*
Well I for one applaud you for even attempting it. You showed willpower and perseverance and that in itself is absolutely awesome. What you did at the end is fantastic. You should be very very proud of yourself Hope. Just by reading this post of yours has motivated me with my work, I seem to have lost my passion for it lately, When I read it I felt ready for anything, so thank you for doing what you did and for sharing it with us. Tons of Blossalicious love and hugs xxx
Thank you for the lovely comment Blossie.
*lots of love*
xx
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Practice makes perfect – that’s true for just about everything.
And I do think the main thing is that you started it, and you finished it, no matter where you ended up.
Well done Esperanza – next time you’ll feel better while doing it
Thanks ghiatjie, I think next time will be much better.
*hugs*
Well done on finishing and I think it is just fabulous that you waited for those behind you. Personally, I’d have passed out after the first 10 minutes so I am very impressed!
Thanks very much, in the beginning I thought I was going to pass out
*hugs*
Remember that you should,at the end of the day,only be competing with yourself.It really doesn’t matter if you had come stone last,you set out to finish and that’s what you did.Well done!
You make such a good point about competing, Adair. Thanks so much.
*hugs*
My best, most memorable, race, was the one I ended up in last place. There was a man in the ambulance behind me, talking on the radio. He said ‘this runner won’t make it’. I showed him. It was a great victory.
Keep it up, Huggs, you’re going to have a lot of fun with this. Maybe you’ll need the occasional anti-inflammatory afterwards, but nobody will take your smile away as you cross that finish line…
Amos, I still smile now when I think about how I crossed the finish line
and I keep on smiling about it. I have a whole six months prescription of anti-inflammatories, so there are no excuses 
Its amazing, but its the first finish line I’ve ever crossed…
*hugs*
First or last, does it really matter, you finished the race and that is the most important! Congrats Hope! You can be so proud of yourself!
Thanks very much Kat
*hugs*
Now you are just my hero! It’s not just that you finished the race..in my mind it’s HOW you crossed the finish line, just as you said in your reply above…You gave those people a special memory, your self a special memory and a HUGE insight into the type of person you are.:)
.
Thank you for your kind words Suzanne.
*hugs*
Sometimes being the last is not always a bad thing. Fom the way I see it in your story, it is actually a good thing. I am happy for you.
Subhan Zein
Thank you so much Subhan
*hugs*
Great for you. I too do a lot of walking. Usually by myself (with Ipod in hand). I compete with myself for distances and time, but have never walked with others. I am sure it makes it a much different and competitive atmosphere, but YOU did it. You are awesome. I have had the effects of hips or other aches- I did get some new shoes and that helped some on the aches. You inspire.
Hi mart, I imagine you to have such fabulous music on your ipod. I forgot my ipod at home on that day. I like walking alone most of the time, it gives time to let the mind just flow a little without any interruptions, but I also don’t mind walking with others as long as they don’t talk too much
Thanks for the shoe tip, I think I’ll look into that.
PS: you inspire too my friend
*hugs*
Well done!!!
P.S. I love your flower background.
Thanks Gb, the background is a picture I took of the flowers my little one and I planted
*Hugs*
Oh puhleeezzzz last my ****. You beat me and about 10 million others who have not even had the balls to START.
Well done!
Thanks Desire, never thought of it that way
*hugs*
Good for you for even attempting it! A well deserve pat on the back
Thanks very much bibi
*hugs*
you were not last or the least…. the other did lack the courage to even try….. Many moons, i mean many,…. i did the Feet of Africa 21 km and were in the same situation…. you what…. being at the end of the row is such a privileged position. You can face it, because for you it is still a winning – for yourself. If it someone else who thought they should have done better, for them is failing… failing…. You go girl. Please do it again for me. I am going to try tghis year to do the 4 km in the Feet/Voet van Afrika right down at Bredasdorp at the Southern Tip of Africa.
Thank you so much cathome. I will be trying again, but I think I will prepare a little better next time. Good luck with you race this year.
*hugs*
LOL! Well, you finished. This is the main thing. Serotonin is released under duress/stress so if you felt ‘Kak’ you weren’t pushing hard enough
This will come in time. Allow yourself a bit to get used to it. And remember to warm up beforehand – stretch etc, okay?
If it makes you feel better: My very first marathon 42.2 kms I finished stone last,(if you exclude the ambulance!) and I was walking. I damaged a tendon called the ITB and couldn’t run properly for nearly four months afterwards. Had to go for physio and everything.
Still, even with the damages you did it Arky. Do you do marathons regularly?
Which only demonstrates how much of a twit I was rather than a ‘hero’. Trust me on this.
No, haven’t run a marathon for a few years. My running these days is confined to my suburb, but while I was a member of a Skaw metals running club I ran just about everything on the calendar from my first 4km fun run (where I was beaten by a granny and a small child with no shoes – lol, I kid you not!) right up to running 3 Comrades.
Take it easy and have fun.
I guess the moral of the story is not to be attached to the outcome. One needs to enjoy the journey itself…. Great reading! Shakti
You make such a good point, thank you Shakti.
*hugs*