So as you know I joined a walking club mainly for increasing serotonin with exercise, keeping fit and for self therapy in a sense. I decided to enter a small walk/run race because I thought I was capable of doing this. When the race started I noticed that there were mostly runners and no walkers such as myself and I ended up lagging behind badly. I can pace myself well with walking but I am not a runner at all, but as the race progressed I realized that I was going to be stone cold last.
So I started off on a slow jog which went well for a while. I caught up to others quickly and just kept my pace level. After running for what felt like hours, my thoughts became very destructive. I was questioning myself as to why I had even thought I could keep up with other more experienced runners and walkers? Did I think I could actually make it to the end line because I wasn’t actually sure how I was keeping my legs moving? I was soooo thirsty and it was boiling hot, even swallowing felt difficult. I kept telling myself I couldn’t do it. I had a major pain in my left hip, not a stitch, but something I have a problem with. The pain seemed to get worse and worse, but in the distance I saw a table with people giving out water.
I thought if I could just make it to the table and as I approached the people smiled and asked if I wanted coke or water, in my turmoil of thoughts I wondered why anyone would actually opt for coke. I grabbed at the water and drank some of it but running and drinking is rather difficult. Strangely the water seemed to help a little and it gave me courage to carry on. I just jogged along, hearing the sound of my running shoes, thud thudding on the road. Someone came up next to me saying “keep going girl; you know you can do it!” And she passed me; I realized that she must have actually lapped me. Those few words of encouragement really helped. As I neared the finish I looked back to see that I was not last but third last. I couldn’t understand why it would bother me so much to be last, the main thing would be that I finished, was it not? The expressions on the faces of those behind me made me stop and wait for them and we finished together. Why I waited for them, well I don’t know, but I didn’t want them to feel like they ended last on their own. The little group of us who were last just chatted and patted ourselves on the back for finishing. Some may think this was a silly decision to make, but I was being true to myself by waiting for them.
The next morning when I woke up I had my real achy hip, so I just stole an extra hour in bed. It’s amazing what anti-inflammatories can do. Will I do it again? Well I don’t know, maybe with proper preparation I might be able to be a little better.